Loneliness Isn't Just A Word
by StarlightPhoenix
Summary: Kai feels so lonely, but refuses to believe that he needs help. But it comes in the weirdest form possible Tyson.


**Loneliness Isn't Just a Word**

Loneliness isn't just a word. No, it isn't. It's so much more. It's an emotion; a feeling; a curse. And a curse I've been haunted with for so long.

People say you're never completely lonely. People say there's always someone there for you. Someone who loves you and would do anything for you. Someone who would die for you. But what do people know? How can they even begin to think they know what you're going through? They don't. And they are so wrong if they think they ever can. No one can. Sometimes I wonder if even I know what I'm truly going through.

But loneliness is one thing I'm sure I've got.

Who's there for me?

Who loves me?

Who would do anything for me?

Who would die for me?

I can't think of a single name. Not one.

So why am I haunted by loneliness? I don't know, so don't bother asking. But the fact is that I am, and it doesn't bother me. I've felt this for too long. I've become numb to this sensation. The way I figure it, I don't need anyone.

Is this true, you ask? Of course. Think about it. I've got this far on my own. I can go further on my own. Why put your trust into someone else when that could be shattered instantly? People turn their backs on you for no reason at all. They turn their backs to fit in with the times. And damn does that hurt. Why not go it alone and avoid all that pain?

Now I've no pain, other than what I inflict myself. But even that is caused by others. Others who believed they could push me around and act like they were better. But no more. I'm alone now.

I'll be just fine on my own…

I shoved my hands further into my pockets, walking through the streets unaccompanied.

I'll be just fine on my own…

"Yo!" called a voice.

"Oh, go away."

"Why?" He caught up to me, walking at a brisk pace to keep up with my stride.

"Tyson, go away."

"But why?" he urged.

"Because I said so."

"Is no one with you?"

"No."

"Why?"

I resisted the urge to tell him to fuck off. "Because."

"Because what?"

"Because. I don't know."

"You should get some friends."

"I don't need them."

"Everyone needs friends, Kai."

"Everyone except me."

"That's not true."

"You don't know me. Go away."

"I know more than you think."

"Fuck off."

"Language."

"I'll use whatever language I want."

"Okay, but just stop cussing."

"You cuss."

"I don't."

"Okay, not bad cussing like me, but you say damn, et cetera."

"That's not cussing."

I realised how lame this conversation was. "Okay, whatever."

"You need friends."

"I don't."

Tyson stopped. "Okay, Kai. You keep telling yourself that. But you just remember: loneliness isn't just a word. You may not realise it, but it's eating away at you. It's like a poison. Loneliness is a curse. One that can be easily remedied. But it first needs your cooperation."

I stopped also. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd always told myself that, but hearing it from someone else… Was I really that much of a wreck?

"Kai, let us help you."

"I…"

"Please, Kai."

"I… want…"

"Kai?"

I gritted my teeth. "I want you to go away. I want you to leave and never look back. Never look for me again."

"Kai…"

"Don't you listen?" I turned and faced him. "I don't need your help, Tyson. I'm not lonely, as such. I don't need anyone. I'd rather be alone."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." He turned and walked back down the street towards the area he'd come from.

I called after him. "I don't need your help!"

_Because this is something I have to do on my own…_

Tyson stopped in his tracks and looked back at me. "I understand. You sort it out. I know you can."

I watched as he walked away once again. "How did you know? How did you know that I would agree?"

That didn't actually matter. Not now. Now I just had to concentrate on sorting my life out.

"Thank you…" I even managed to smile. "Friend…"

I turned and walked away in the opposite direction to Tyson, determined to change. And I would. For my own sake…


End file.
